The rocky road during your weight loss journey.

This is the unspoken truth when you start to contemplate your future, your health and ultimately your diet. It is brushed under the carpet by most personal trainers with their opening selling points and we're sucked in to looking like David Beckham or Kim Kardashian before we've even had the chance ourselves to question the mental state we are about to put ourselves under.

Every diet starts off the same. It is that moment someone says I have had enough. You look in the mirror and say, what've I done, I need to sort this, my husband/wife doesn't find me attractive or I'm fed up of the names. No matter what it is, you've had enough of being who you are and you want to change.

For many of us, after this, we say to our loved ones I want to diet, I'm fat, I'm hideous, do you love me; when what we are really doing, is looking for some confirmation from them that they also agree you need to diet and that they'll support you. This can go on for a good few weeks, and social events, birthdays holidays etc keep us in this loop until be break free and take the step. You've lost faith in your own ability to make this decision alone, you don't know where to start, and you don't want to fail either, so you rope your friends and loved ones in for moral support and hope you'll keep each other going.

This is the step you've wanted to take for so long and finally it is happening. I'll tell you the big difference here though. You're doing this for you, and their doing it for you, and not themselves which I'm afraid to say makes you more committed than them, and unfortunately means they'll eventually challenge your diet, and you'll be forced to make the decision of going alone, or falling off the wagon with them.

You'll tell yourself the latter is ok, because you and your partner did it together (woo cheat weekend), but what you'll feel is guilt, because you cheated on your diet, because you didn't want too stop there. You want that dream body that you have in your head, and now you've let yourself down for them. Ask yourself this, who did that really help? All you can think now is 'I'll start Monday', a 2 or 3 day setback.

Lets take a step back from that and stay positive. So you've decided to start a diet, and like all good diets you're starting Monday. Over the weekend you're going to sort out the coming week, full of optimism and ready to go at it. You've got your new shopping list sorted, and nothing is going to stop you now. You've planned your food for the week, and got all of your food prepped you wanted too. For me I always prepped a weeks worth of lunches, and every night made my breakfast ready to go!

That nothing can stop me now attitude is here to stay. It isn't long before that optimism starts to dwindle, and it only takes 2 or 3 bad meals to screw that right up right?! It's Thursday and your excited you've broke the camels back and the weekend is nearly here, and you walk into the kitchen to find your partner eating some chocolate, or a cheeky bit of dessert. It's only small but for some reason it gets too you, and you've again got a decision to make. Do you take some for yourself, or do you take the moral- diet high ground and say 'nah mate, I'm alright thanks', give them a cheeky grin and walk past- trust me when I say that feeling is 100 times greater than 30 seconds of pudding.

Like everything in life, your partner can be the best and the worst thing to happen since sliced bread! You'll need them, and when they know how you feel, they are there for you. I promise this to you, nothing can stop you when you finally get to that point where you want to change, and change you shall, because you want too! They'll test you don't get me wrong, up until they see what you want they'll question and push you all the way. They wont mean too, they love you and want you to be happy, but to them for the last however many years, that ice cream after a meal was what made you happy, you've changed (who isn't sick of hearing that).

A diet is a strange place to be for everyone. Your suddenly telling yourself some foods are bad, and others are good. But who decides? On one diet you're allowed as much fruit as you want, on another you're not allowed any. On this you're only allowed fatty food, and on the next you're not allowed any. So what do you do? Go back hundreds on years and what did great granny say before granny? A little of everything in moderation, and guess what... it is bloody true! Eat everything in moderation, it is the key to a successful diet! After all you can't fall of a wagon if you know the foods already in your cart (so to speak).

I'm not saying go and eat pizza 7 times a week, and you'll lose weight. I am saying if your allowed 2000 calories a day, and a slice of pizza is 340 calories do the math, and work the rest out with healthy foods, carbs, proteins and plenty of veg! After all, have you ever eaten a whole pizza and felt good afterwards really?

We've got to step away from this idea that food is good or bad, and we've got to move to a place where we add up our food and stick to the calories. Sure a good blow out now and again is worth it for your mental health, but do you really need it every week, is it a treat if its part of your routine?

There will be days where you yourself want to jump off the wagon and get a sweet treat. This is when your partner needs to understand the desire you really have, and how much it has affected your mental health for the past x amount of months or years. If they don't know the full truth behind why you started how can they help? If they do know and you've been honest with them, then the moment you say, 'ooo a doughnut', they'll say 'keep walking', and boom you've stayed on the wagon and crossed that bridge; you both passed the test you subconsciously set.

It isn't about you and your partner, or family eating what you are, it's about them understanding your mental health has taken a knock, and to put it right you want to feel good about yourself again, and looking good, as much as feeling good, you believe will do that. Make sensible choices for the family, such as having similar dinners, if you're having steak and vegetables, then make it for them too but give them the chips, or potatoes they also want, they don't need to diet, they just need to understand and support you.

The truth of the matter is, a diet is one of the biggest mental challenged you will ever give to yourself. Without the foundations in place, this being your family and friends, the knowledge in the foods your eating, and the will power, quite often we are doomed to fail from the start.

My biggest advice I could ever give is to make sure you open up and are honest with your nearest and dearest, and say 'I am not happy with myself, and I want your support, and your love to help me change this, so I can feel good about myself'. If you cant say that to your partner, who can you say it too, and if they can't see that, and understand it, then ask yourself this... are they really who you want to spend you life with?*

I can't stress enough how much your foundations need to be in place for a successful diet. For many of us it has to become a change in our way of life, and we must accept that what we've been eating before isn't healthy, and certainly not who we want to be.

A diet= a timed period where we adopt a new way of thinking, it is doomed to end. A change in the way we approach food, and a healthy educated balance is the key to succeeding, and that cannot happen without support. Stop rewarding yourself with food, and remove the negative connotations we impose on ourselves. Enjoy a healthy balance of foods including fats and keep to your calories.

*Before I get complaints here I am not saying leave your partner because they let you eat ice cream. I am saying you have to be happy in yourself to give your best self to them, and if they can't see your unhappy, even after you've told them, then their already not paying attention to your needs and you deserve better.